Before I begin: yes, my Nintendo Wii has returned to me, safely, and upon its arrival I spent 15 minutes cradling it in my arms like a small child. Not really, but I'm so happy to have it back. And from Wii Day forward, I have been playing Zelda non-stop — this is a game that is so truly unbelievably good. It's one of those games you think about when you wake up, and look forward to when you come home from work. It's the kind of game where you can spend two hours just exploring. It's got some of the best character design and development I've ever seen in a game. Basiscally, I couldn't be happier.

But, friends: I'm not here to talk about Zelda.

A number of months ago, during the pre-Wii game drought, I partook in a little game cassette called Saints Row. Saints Row (plot: shoot stuff) was a pretty average game by any measure — for starters, it was literally, down to almost every detail, an exact clone of Grand Theft Auto. (I couldn't believe Rockstar didn't K.C. Munchkin all over their faces.)

Saints Row does, to its credit, have better graphics, a pretty good script, an amusing character creator, and better targeting (for better shooting people in the face).

It also has some bugs. The world's most awesome bugs.

So many bugs that I would keep my digital camera on hand while I played the game. And every time I came across a bug — and I came across a whole lot of them — I'd take a short video.

For a long time now, I've wanted to share these bug videos with you, but I wasn't convinced they were quite funny enough. They needed a hot comedy injection, a little something to tie it all together. And then it hit me: musical theatre. What better compliment to the rough and tumble world of Saints Row? (Mind you, I'm no professional musicarian, and, as noted previously, there's nothing more painful than hearing your own voice, especially when it appears to be singing.)

So, it's with extreme trepidation that I present to you, dear reader:


(Here's the ubiquitous low-quality YouTube mirror.)

Also, against all logic and reason, this blog post actually has a deleted song — a touching, soulful, tear-jacking ballad called Lost In The World.m4a (450 KB). It didn't quite have the mystique the last bug video demanded, so I wound up with the (quasi-arranged) "What Is This Place" instead.

Keep an eye out for "Transmit! The Musical!", featuring the hit single "What's Up With My Proxy (Do I Need To Set Passive Mode?)". Joking.

Our plastic light-up Rumor Santa here in the fabulous Cabelpartment doesn't talk often, but when he does, you listen! Because it's creepy and weird. And a thoroughly strained vehicle for sharing gossip. So, Santa, what are you sharing this time?

It might go like this: if you, like me, frequently use Photoshop (and note that I'm only talkin' Photoshop here), and your latest file has about forty squidzillion layers, and you happen to be using an otherwise awesome Intel Mac, and you're gettin' a little tired of ridin' the Rosetta Express to Slowsburg, and you thirst for new feature hotness, then maybe, just maybe, Christmas might come a couple weeks early this year. (Maybe even, like, in a few days.)

Which is both totally shocking, and totally awesome. (OK, fine... shocksome.) And which you might have already heard, but Santa swears on it. Thanks, Santadobe